I'm lucky to know a number of remarkably successful people. Regardless of their profession or industry, they all tend to believe and think many of the same things.
And, just as important, they all tend to refuse to think and believe some of the same things.
So can you. Each of us can decide to think and believe differently than most other people -- and in the process,achieve differently than most other people.
That process starts with refusing to adopt certain mindsets. Here are a few things successful people never think.
1. "Someone is always holding me back."
Maybe someone else has ruined an opportunity or blocked an idea or taken what was rightfully yours. Maybe suppliers didn't come through. Maybe your partner wasn't committed. Maybe potential customers weren't smart enough to recognize the value you provide.
Doesn't matter. You can't control other people. You can control only yourself.
Always decide it was your fault whenever you fail. Not only is that a smart way to think, but it's also almost always true. Although occasionally something completely outside your control will cause you to fail, most of the time the root cause is you.
And that's OK. Every successful person has failed numerous times. Most have failed a lot more often than you have; that's one reason why they're so successful today.
So embrace every failure. Own it, learn from it, and take full responsibility for making sure that next time, you'll do what it takes to make sure things turn out differently.
Never think it's another person's fault; when you do, you're guaranteeing it always will be.
2. "I never seem to get the right opportunities."
Hey, join the very large club. No matter how it looks from the outside, no one is given opportunities he or she doesn't deserve. Opportunities are earned. And even if someone else did get an opportunity you feel you deserved, you can't change that fact, so why dwell on it?
Maybe, years ago, you did have to wait: to be accepted, to be promoted, to be selected, to somehow be "discovered."
Even if that was once true, it's no longer the case. Access to opportunity is nearly unlimited. You can connect with nearly anyone through social media. You can create and sell your own products, develop and distribute your own applications, find your own funding ... or, like Taylor Swift, pitch the right person and in the process help him launch his own record label.
You don't need to wait for someone else to give you the opportunity. You can give yourself the opportunity--which, by the way, is what successful people have done for centuries. The only thing holding you back from seizing an opportunity is you--and your willingness to try.
Don't think about opportunities you need to be given; think about opportunities you need to take.
3. "I would definitely work harder if I knew it would be worth it."
Ever heard someone say, "If I knew I would get a raise, then I will be willing to work a lot harder"? Or, "If I knew my startup would succeed, then I would definitely be willing to put in more hours"? Or, "If I knew there would be a bigger payoff, then I would be willing to sacrifice more"?
Successful employees earn promotions and higher pay by first working harder; in other words, they earn their success. Successful businesses earn higher revenue by delivering greater value first; they earn their success.
Successful people, in all areas of life, earn bigger "payoffs" by working incredibly hard well before any potential return is in sight; they earn their success through effort and sacrifice.
Most people expect to get more before they will ever consider doing more.
First decide how you define success. Then think of compensation not as the driver or requirement for exceptional effort but as the deserved reward.
4. "If I just had the time."
Sure you do. You have the same amount of time as everyone else. The key is to decide how you fill your time.
For example, anyone can create a schedule. But most people don't ensure every task takes only as long as it needs to take. Most people fill a block of time, either given or self-determined, simply because that is the time allotted.
Don't adjust your effort so it fills a time frame. Instead, do everything as quickly and effectively as you can. Then use your "free" time to get other things done just as quickly and effectively.
Never think about how time controls you -- instead, think of how you can best control your time.
When you do, you'll quickly realize you have a lot more time than you ever imagined.
5. "If only I had a special talent."
It's easy, and extremely tempting, to assume successful people have some intangible entrepreneurial something -- ideas, talent, drive, skills, creativity, etc. -- that you don't have.
In fact that's rarely true. Talent typically reveals itself only in hindsight. Success is never assured; it looks that way only after it is achieved.
Sure, other people may have skills you don't have -- at least not yet -- but you have skills other people don't have. You don't need a gift. You just need yourself -- and a willingness to put in a tremendous amount of hard work, effort, and perseverance -- because that is where talent comes from.
Never think about what you don't have. Focus on what you do have -- and more important, what you are willing to do that others are not.
That is your true gift, and it's a gift we've all been given.
You just have to use it.
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“How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself and in no instance bypass the discriminations of reason? You have been given the principles that you ought to endorse, and you have endorsed them. What kind of teacher, then, are you still waiting for in order to refer your self-improvement to him? You are no longer a boy, but a full-grown man. If you are careless and lazy now and keep putting things off and always deferring the day after which you will attend to yourself, you will not notice that you are making no progress, but you will live and die as someone quite ordinary.
From now on, then, resolve to live as a grown-up who is making progress, and make whatever you think best a law that you never set aside. And whenever you encounter anything that is difficult or pleasurable, or highly or lowly regarded, remember that the contest is now: you are at the Olympic Games, you cannot wait any longer, and that your progress is wrecked or preserved by a single day and a single event. That is how Socrates fulfilled himself by attending to nothing except reason in everything he encountered. And you, although you are not yet a Socrates, should live as someone who at least wants to be a Socrates.” ― Epictetus
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